One of the greatest struggles a teenager faces today is the struggle to fit in. Being accepted by ones peers is one of the oldest mysteries in the world. And the question as to how to achieve it is a very perplexing question that seems to have no answer. The first thing you as a teenager must realize is that when you begin to make the necessary changes to be accepted, you must change who you are. And in changing who you are, you begin to lose your identity. Thereby, you lose yourself.
Now, if we’re going to look at this from a Christian point of view we must first see God’s attitude on peer pressure and being accepted. God’s word declares that each and everyone of us is fearfully and wonderfully made. We are created in the image of God, yet in a uniqueness that belongs only to us. We are different than anyone else in the world. So, there’s really no way to actually “fit in” unless we change who God created us to be and become someone else.
This struggle to fit in has been a plague that has ailed teenagers for many years. This struggle has caused young ladies and young men to become someone they were never intended to be. It has caused teenagers to do, say, act, and perform in ways that they would have never done before. I remember years ago, I was at the beginning of our youth pastorate in Dallas. We had a youth group full of wonderful young people. There was an exceptional young lady there who we’ll call SALLY. Sally had been saved, she was on fire for God and was beginning to see life in a whole new way. But then she met some friends. These friends were not the average church going teenager. As a matter of fact, they were far from what we would call Christians. I saw her begin to sway away from the things of the Lord and towards her new found friends so I warned her of the dangers. She assured me she was ok, and that she was just having some fun. Well, to make a long story short, she became a completely different person than she was before and before long she was out of church. She had done things that she never dreamed she would ever do. She went places, said things, got in trouble, and hurt people that she loved. And now, tragically her life is still on the same course. What happened? She abandoned who she was, and who God intended her to be to fit in. Yes, she was accepted but her acceptance cost her the life that God had planned for her.
Yes I know fitting in is important to us all. We all want to be accepted by our peers and feel that the cost of doing so is well worth it, but it’s not. It is entirely possible for you to fit in and still maintain your own identity. If you feel like you have to abandon who you are to make new friends….. let me tell you, they are not the friends you need to be looking for.
#1 Be yourself, be who God created you to be!
#2 Never change for anyone. Either they will love you for who you are, or they will not love who you become.
